Looking back

I think I am starting to realize what I have been doing for the last year. How fortunate I am to have had this opportunity and the possibility to have this experience.
Now I am living in a hotel in Shanghai, China. A city I did not even believe that I would visit in my life.
For the last year I have been living abroad, and I have been doing something that very few in my group of friends has experienced. But it is hard to take in. It has been my life. It has been normal days for me. Normal life. Nothing out of the ordinary.

The spectacular and the unusual becomes very fast the normal life. It took me a few weeks to get used to be living on the other side of the world, from where I was born. In the beginning everything was new and there were a lot of “WOW!”experiences. But I think it is now, when I have left that part of my life behind me, that I can actually start appreciate what I had. I were living at the Gold Coast, Australia. An area with white sandy beaches, blue water, wonderful environment, wonderful people, and that is something I will never experience again. It is kind of sad when I think about it. That was what I had. And to me, much of the time it felt like “Meeeeh…”. I guess one starts to appreciate things when one does not have it any more. When one realizes what a wonderful environment it was.

I wish I would be more amazed when experience things, and not when looking back at them. In a few weeks, Shanghai will be ordinary. Still very different to what I am used to, but I can already feel that this is becoming normality for me. I hope I do not get trapped in that way of viewing my surroundings, but that I will keep being amazed and surprised of the things around me, and not take them for granted. This is an amazing experience for me and something that none of my friends have done. And I should appreciate that more than what I am doing. I should not let my self think “It is just Shanghai”, as I did with the Gold Coast, but instead think “THIS IS SHANGHAI!!! This is China! This is awesome!”

I also think that I should be more proud of myself. Of what I am doing. Of how I am shaping my future, and letting myself encounter things that is completely foreign for me.
My feeling of this at the moment is “this is something that anyone can do. This is nothing special”.
Perhaps this is not something anyone can do… and perhaps this is kind of special… I just have to realize that it is… and realize that being capable of doing it is what actually is Me.